This an an after thought after a marketing class... which I'm absolutely in love with.  My professor asks really simple questions, most times. Like this other day he says, "Whats the one thing you outta do when you want to try and win a war?". We stare at him for a while, and then he says, "You go in with Overwhelming Force !!!. Thats how I live my life, when I need to do something, I go in with overwhelming force. There is absolutely no chance of defeat."

True that. I guess its right. Teachers do impart words of wisdom. 

Send a heartbeat to
The void that cries through you
Relive the pictures that have come to pass
For now we stand alone
The world is lost and blown
And we are flesh and blood disintegrate
With no more to hate
Is it bright where you are
And Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
Now all secrets fade
We can watch the world devoured in its pain
Delivered from the blast
The last of a line of lasts
The pale princess of a palace cracked
And now the kingdom comes
Crashing down undone
And I am a master of a nothing place
Of recoil and grace
Is it bright where you are
And Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
Now all secrets fade
We can watch the world devoured in its pain
Time has stopped before us
The sky cannot ignore us
No one can separate us
For we are all that is left
The echo bounces off me
The shadow lost beside me
There's no more need to pretend
Cause now I can begin again
Is it bright where you are
And Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
Now all secrets fade
We can watch the world devoured in its pain............

Realization # 4

I haven't lived in Freedom. It needs to change.

I need to do what I want.

I need to want what I do....

Sean: Thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me... fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No.
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? [Will nods]
Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

-Goodwill Hunting

I swing like a pendulum...

“ Whenever a system is really complicated, as in the brain or in an organized community”, Sir George Thomson has said “ indeterminacy comes in, not necessarily because of plank’s constant (h) but because to make a prediction so many things must be known that the stray consequences of studying them will disturb the status quo, which can never therefore be discovered. History is not and cannot be determinate. The supposed causes only may produce the consequence we expect.”

Now I know.... why my brain is so messed up !!! Why at one moment I want everything and at another nothing. Oscillation is not rare, its a natural phenomena I guess. The important part is the attachment to the fulcrum-the core of what we are. The reverberations may indicate restlessness as well as productive motion, but the point of suspension would always hold us in place. Like the bonds we have with certain people. No matter how hard we make it for them, no matter how far we swing, they hold us in their hearts. But I still wonder if the pendulum would ever come a full circle....

Loss of Faith

That pretty much sums it up.

I just wish someone would sing this for me... today...

Kabhi Kabhi aditi Zindagi ,
Mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai
Kabhi Kabhi aditi woh bichad jaye to
Ek sapna lagta hai

Aise mein koi kaise apne aasun ko behene se roke
Aur kaise koi soch de
Everythings gonna be ok


Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi na khushi aur na maza
Kabhi kabhi to lage har din muskhil Aur har pal ek saza

Aise mein koi kaise muskuraye kaise hasde kush ho ke
Aur kaise koi soch de
Everything's gonna be ok

Soch zara janejaa tujhko hum kitna chahte hai
Roote hai hum bhi agar teri aakhon mein aasun aate hain
Gana to aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum gaate hain

Hey aditi maan kabhi ,kabhi sare jahan mein andhera hota hai
Lekin raat ke baad hi to savera hota


Kabhi Kabhi aditi Zindagi ,
Mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai
Kabhi Kabhi aditi woh bichad jaye to
Ek sapna lagta hai

Hey aditi hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde tu zara
Nahi to bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Tu Kush Hai to lage ki jahan mein chai hai kushi
Suraj nikle badlon se aur baate zindagi
Sunto zara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi

Ki Aditi woh ko bichadte hain ek na ek din phir mil jate hain
Aditi jane tu ya jaane na phool phir khil jate hain


Kabhi Kabhi aditi Zindagi ,
Mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai
Kabhi Kabhi aditi woh bichad jaye to
Ek sapna lagta hai

Hey aditi hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde tu zar
Nahi to bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Hey aditi hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde tu zara
Nahi to bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

I need to get my life back !!